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First, My many thanks to all of the wonderful people who invited Me to their Thanksgiving feasts! It was so thoughtful and gracious of them and I consider it quite an honor to be asked to share their dinners with them. Really, I am truly aware of how blessed I am to be cared for by so many. (To those who invited Me and read this, I expect you to be laughing at most of it as you do! Be certain to invite Me to other gatherings, though!)
So, as I politely declined, I waited a day or two and then told My real reasons for not doing Thanksgiving:
1) I am predominantly vegetarian and I have not eaten turkey for more than 20 years. Since any type of meat or poultry in food will make Me ill, I always say that I’m a bummer at Thanksgiving dinners, but the truth is that I’m bummed at the boring salad that awaits Me, or worse, at the cook who thinks a “little bit of” whatever won’t “hurt” Me until I’m vomiting… and attempting to make it look like an accident while I aim it at the favorite rug or couch…
2) I don’t like making people feel uncomfortable in their domains because I am not participating in the gluttony-fest. Aside from the fact that people always feel sorry for Me that I don’t eat “meat” while I feel sorry for them that they do, I have to endure the, “that’s how you stay in that shape” conversations. This inevitably comes from the fattest person at the gathering, speaking with that second piece of pie in hand.
3) Since I usually have to eat before I go to Thanksgiving dinner to ensure that I don’t get hungry, what’s the sense in going out if I’ve already cooked and can stay home and watch the football game? And if I watch the game at someone’s home, I’m usually the only woman with all the males and the females get their feathers ruffled more than usual when I’m in a room. Little do they know ~ or maybe they do know ~ that the only thing I would want their men to do is grovel at My feet with tributes.
4) There are usually children at these affairs. I don’t have the patience or the ability to be polite enough (and I have so much more politeness than seems to be the norm – especially these days) to tolerate “little precious” and the sugar-high s/he will be on the whole evening until the tryptophan kicks in. And usually, with children, this never happens soon enough.
5) Someone inevitably thinks I’m actually going to help ~ or even offer to help ~ in the kitchen or clear the table or something…
6) I gave up illegal drugs before leaving My teens and there isn’t a drug in the world that can make Me able to deal with “family drama” ~ especially someone else’s family drama!
7) I am blessed to have been born into a family of a very diverse group of cultures. My tribe considers Thanksgiving a day of mourning. It is the annual reminder that Our ancestors showed kindness to save the lives of starving barbarians who returned the gifts they were given with death to Our people, Our forests, Our buffalo and eagles, with prejudice, lies, destruction, and thievery on every level.
8) I give thanks every day and don’t need one day to celebrate all the blessings that I have.
However, bah-humbug this may sound, I look forward to My day of football and pasta on that third Thursday of November!
Yet, softy-that-I-can-be, I always consider the person who has nothing to do for the “holiday” (but wishes they did) and sometimes, I invite people to come out and have a drink with Me to share some of that “togetherness” that is so highly commercialized to sell you things to buy for Christmas presents. Fortunately, We “ain’t buying it” and We give thanks for having the time to get together for a little fun in Our hectic schedules!
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A COMPLIMENTARY Gift
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