WARNING: Egomaniacal Disrespect & Life Endangerment

How To Protect Yourself & Punish Offenders

There is no excuse for walking passed Me (or any Dominant) in a public BDSM venue to introduce yourself to MY sub and OUT him by addressing him by his legal name (provided by a former friend who is so impressed with her belief in her intelligence that she never sees how easily she continues to be manipulated by losers) – especially when I introduced MY sub to everyone I wanted to introduce him to by his Scene Name.  The offender, an insidious excuse for a “master,” is so obsessed with Me and My life that his heinous breach of protocol endangered My sub’s child custody battle, causing Me to end My relationship with THE sub of My dreams and love of My life.  (I will never stand in the way of a good parent’s relationship with her/his children.  That’s what responsible people do and what Real Love looks like in action.)

This miscreant’s consistent transgressions against Me – while he called himself a “dear friend” – have included pathological lying, cheating, stealing money and property from Me, attempting to sabotage My events and relationships, and using My name and reputation to gain favors and introductions to influential people in The Scene.  This creep’s numerous offenses have caused Me to cut him off from Me and My Domain for more than 3 years – which is the greatest punishment because I AM THE FETISH that I want to be - and obviously what he wants to be, too.  I now understand the look in his father’s eyes, clearly wishing he had been the son who’d died.  he should change his name to “mirage” to reflect the enormity of his delusions of grandeur in the vast desert of his reality, which completely lacks of any talent, integrity, intelligence, and value.

I have forgiven Myself for taking pity on yet another corny, slob by permitting him to attend events with Me (after creating a sense of style for him not to publicly embarrass Me); introducing him to Fetish Luminaries who were My “friends”; helping him save his marriage via My counseling services with his wife; permitting Myself to be someone his children adored; and setting him up to have a dungeon with that same, silly dumme – who should apologize for her errors and arrogance, but of course, has not.  It is not My crime that My kindness has been repaid with treachery. 

I neither tolerate nor dismiss the sanctimonious attitudes of people who’ve ignored Me when I’ve told them many times, over the past 3 years, about this loser’s offenses.  Not only have some ignored Me, but, after I expressly and repeatedly requested that they do not discuss any aspect of My life with him, they have contributed to him being able to spy on and invade My life to the point of creating irreparable damage.  They’ve even had the audacity to be annoyed with ME when I made such requests of them for MY well-being and safety because the offender “never did anything” to them. 

This is the same type of behavior exhibited by people who tell a rape victim that s/he should not have been walking down that street and who cry the loudest at the funerals of victims who have been killed by the same stalkers the victims complained to them about.   Fortunately for Me, I’ve told each and every culprit that WHEN they’ve offended Me beyond repair, that they WILL be added to the list of people who will always try to regain entry into My Domain.  And here We are.  In a very short amount of time, they will realize that they miss Me more than I will ever miss them because I AM THE FETISH that I want to be.  That’s what is so good about “predictable disappointments” -  they are predictable!  So, when they fail any benefits of doubt you extend to them, you are emotionally prepared while they never are.  And they suffer… as they should.

In a previous newsletter, I wrote a segment on OUTTING OR PROTECTING.  However, Karma is a wonderful thing.  To protect My friends, I told a few people I care for about this idiot and cohort’s offenses and guess what?  Someone powerful, who truly appreciates all that I create for True Fetishists to enjoy the finer aspects of Our Scene, has stepped in to protect Me and you from the possibility of suffering such horrors in the future from people whose behaviors have raged out of control because no one else has been responsible enough to put them in check.  I absolutely LOVE that I have NOT had to do anything and the perpetrators themselves are responsible for the solution to this problem!  Here’s what’s been done to date:

I maintain that if you are not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem.  I hope that these barbarians (and others like them) see that the reason the FBI took the initiative to get involved was created by their insidious behaviors.  What’s more, I hope that people reading this will step up to protect Our Scene by taking action to prevent creeps from continuing to ruin and make it a sleaze-fest for the abominable.  The habit of permitting offenders to hide in the shadows by remaining silent makes YOU a party to the harm these creeps cause to all of Us.

These pathetic people and their obsessions with Me and Mine are why another of My mottos is: “Don’t start none, won’t be none…”  EVERY person who has been cut off from Me and My Domain ALWAYS tries to return – ALWAYS.  The reason for this is because I come from LOVE; I focus on a person’s strengths, talents, and their potential for greatness and teach them how to appreciate themselves.  Sadly, these people begin to believe that they are greater than the goodness I’ve shown them about themselves – and without merit, of course.  They become jealous, controlling, petty – all the things you read and hear them say about Me as they babble on with obvious “sour grape” scenarios.  Because what they say about Me does not matter to Me or to the people I care about, they creepily go to great lengths to get My attention, which they so desperately miss and need.  One of the greatest gifts that I give to Myself is to withhold My greatness from the unworthy.  When you love yourself, you don’t need to harass, invade, berate, etc.  You are enough to be happy with your own life.  The pity of it all is how many miserable creatures there are who are too lazy to do the work to improve themselves to create their happiness; instead they seek to destroy yours.

Fortunately for all involved, I believe in Karma.  I also understand “humanoid” behavior, particularly behaviors of those whose lack of self-love, worth, and esteem foster pretensions that keep them prisoners to repeating the same mistakes over and over again because they will not learn and grow beyond their desperate, ego-personas in order to avoid facing their TRUE selves.  Sadist that I am, I enjoy knowing that the suffering they caused Me and Mine is much less than the suffering that their offenses to Me now and will continue to cause them.  They created their punishments and tortures, which are well deserved. 

May 2012 bring an end to the rampant wickedness and bring a new birth to the Beauty of The Fetish Lifestyle!  And may you always see your Truth when you look in the mirror.

Click Here for Information and Resources on Stalkers

For many years, I have contributed My Pearls of Wisdom to various publications and various projects by various people. Many of them were cool and appreciative; others were perfect examples of casting My Pearls before swine. 

Since I’ve taken the time to generously share tools, tips, and techniques from My experience that work with so many, I have compiled the lessons in one, easily accessible place so that many more will be able to benefit.

If you have a question that has not already been addressed, you may Ask Mistress Didi*.

Remember your manners… I’m a Domme, not your mom.

CLICK:

You Won’t Like My Events If…

1)    You think that My Events are open to everyone, the more-the merrier, or that I desire for everyone to want to attend them.  NO.  I make it very clear that My Events are NOT for everyone and that only those with the utmost respect and integrity for themselves, for others, and for The Fetish Scene are welcome.  I keep the number of attendees at an intimate level to foster a real sense of Community among people with beautiful energies.  Creatures who think that to withhold respect and common courtesy is a sign of control/Dominance/self-worth are completely confused and need to learn to become better beings elsewhere.

2)    You think that because you attend, it’s all about you.  NO, it’s MY Event and you are invited into MY Domain.  Invited guests are always on their best behavior or they will be ejected, never to return.  Respect and manners are to be given at all times in order for you to receive them.  Again, undesireables will be ejected upon the first inkling of bad behavior, never to return.  I don’t care how much losers whine to anyone who will entertain garbage; I mean it when I say I don’t want just anyone in My Domain and I fiercely protect My Guests.

3)    You think that because you paid admission that you are entitled to every- and anything.  NO.  You pay admission to offset My costs.  Because I don’t enjoy partying in dark dives and paying exorbitant prices for cheap wine and beer, I choose venues, hors d’oeuvres, and. beverages that are of fine quality, are healthy, and that I actually enjoy.  Unlike just about every other event promoter I’ve encountered in The Scene, I do not produce events to make money.  Since I’m not a trust-fund-kid, I have a budget to adhere to in order to share some of the delights of My Domain with others.  My goal is to create a good time with good people and (hopefully) break-even with My expenses.  I produce events so that:

a)    I create a milieu to attract like-energies;

b)    I can meet people I’d actually like to commune with;

c)    I can meet quality Dominants and submissives rather than tolerate the many “dummes” and “substandards” that troll around everywhere;

d)    I can create a safe haven for people who have a sincere desire to learn and share with and from the Fetish Elite; and

e)    I can enjoy the company of people I already know and like.

Notice the key word in the above sentences: “I.”  I create the type of events that I wish were available for Me to enjoy.  If you attend My Events, you are contributing to your ability to enjoy the finer things that are standard in My Domain.

4)    You want to determine the Rules of Protocol.  NO.  Titles are used and ClassicFetish™ etiquette is demanded of all who enter into My Domain.  Since My best friends address Me as Mistress Didi, so will you, and I will reciprocate in kind.  Others are also to be address by their titles, unless told otherwise by the individuals.  Ma’am, Mistress, Miss, and Sir are to be used at all times.  Thank you, please, and excuse me are also expected in conversations of all who attend.  Courtesy is a gift that is returned ten-fold.  If any of this is a problem for you or your owner, do not attend, which will be a Win-Win for Me no matter how one looks at it.

5)    You think you know everything about producing events and ridiculously dare to even think to tell Me how I should produce Mine in MY Domain.  Or worse, you want to whine about what you want in My Domain.  NO.  Produce your own events and, if they are not in a sleazoid venue with a self-indulgent DJ blasting music so that I can’t even hear Myself speak, I will check out what you offer.  If it’s not My thing, I have the grace not to disrespect your creation; I just won’t be a frequent visitor.  I support you in creating what you desire and sincerely wish you well in your endeavors.  That’s what Self-Love and Respect look like in practice; there’s no need or reason for jealousy, avarice, pettiness, etc. from anyone for anyone else.  I understand that The Universe works so that when one wins, We can all win, if We are available to prosperity consciousness.  It’s also called having class and good upbringing.

6)    You think you should or will be catered to.  NO.  I am a Real Domme, not your mom.  Again, an invited guest does not try to be the center of attention, hog all the Play or the party photographer, or dictate to My staff or guests.  I am also not a “hoochie-with-a-whip” in the service industry; I’m in the “be served” business.  It serves Me and brings Me joy to produce events where cool people enjoy themselves and each other.

7)    You lack social skills.  For example, although I have event staff, clean up after yourself.  That’s common courtesy and respectful of other guests.  Basic social graces are all that are required to be a participant in any of My Events.  Since there is an epidemic of growing numbers of people who lack such skills, I have taken the time to give yet another gift in the form of a Free eBook: How To Properly Present yourself To A Mistress, which is a primer in basic Scene etiquette that is a great resource for Dominants and submissives alike.

8)    You think I’m elitist.  YES, I am.  And with good reason.  I’ve dedicated Myself to becoming a skilled, Fetish Artist with many years of blood, sweat, and tears (which was a lot of fun for Me and My Playmates) to honestly walk My talk.  I cultivated My style with grace and aplomb to become an expert in many techniques.  I am offended by all these “dummes” and “substandards” who dare to dictate to ME, and others of My caliber, on the who-what-how things should be when they can barely even hold a flogger to flail it.  My Domain and My Events are for the crème-de-la-crème of The Fetish Lifestyle and for those who wish to contribute to and be a part of Us.

9)    You think I’m a bitch and you don’t understand the power.  YES, I am proud to be a REAL Dominant who is Being In Total Control of Herself = My Domain.  The primary reason that I am Dominant is because I want things the way I want them in My Domain (the same goes for just about every other Dominant that I know and associate with).  The truth is that most people think you’re a bitch when they can’t have what they want in your Domain.  These kinds of people are lazy and lack personal responsibility for their own lives and want to invade yours.  I don’t allow this on any level.

I also do not care if people like Me or what I create in My Domain.  If you don’t like it, don’t accept My gracious invitation to join Me in it.  Simple.

It’s not your job to like Me; it’s Mine. ~ Byron Katie

If any of the above holds true for you, My Events are NOT for you.  Life is too short to spend time on things that do not fit in with your comfort zone and I support you in enjoying what does.  My Events are just a few of many opportunities to be grateful for your freedom to choose.  Please be grateful for such freedom; not everyone has it.

You are responsible for the energy you bring. ~ Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor

Always MY Pleasure,
The Mistress Didi*

Who knew that when I wrote My blog post, End of A Love Affair and the “gruesomes” that I would receive over 50 emails of thanks to date and they keep coming!  I will tell the truth and say that My post was a warning to creatures I find offensive in every way to mind their own business and keep their noses out of Mine.  However, as always, I endeavor to come from the Highest Place of Love and Consideration that I can present and in this way, I touched the hearts of many people to help them transition to a place of peace with relationship… stuff…

These dialogs all seem to resolve to the same place: the lack of recognition of one’s own worth because value is placed on someone else.  Reality Check: 1) no one can love you if you do not love yourself and 2) you cannot love someone who does not love himself – he won’t let you and will torture you for trying (it’s the nature of the self-loathing).

Fortunately for Us all, I believe that to be of service is the highest good and that’s not just for The Fetish Lifestyle.  Many people don’t bother to actually read My website to be aware of My therapeutic credentials which are listed in My bio.  And everything in My Bio is True.  So, I’ve presented below a segment of some advice I gave in response to a letter from a fabulous person to remind Us all to remember to Value Your Truth.  These tips are beneficial for a variety of situations in Our lives, not just for relationships of the heart. 

Tips To Remember Your Value

… When a relationship ends, We tend to over-complicate things and over-analyze every thought and emotion We have.  What you need to remember is that you don’t have to make yourself miserable when a situation doesn’t work the way you “expected” it to.  Here are some tips for getting over “the blues” (whatever their source):

NOTE:  As you Become Better, there is the strong probability that many of the people you thought were part of your support system become tacky in ways that appear to be jealousy.  Don’t take this as a personal attack; they are feeling their comfort zones being shaken by you braving to Be Better.  You may have to make some tough choices to let them go – which may only be for now.  But as you commit to loving and caring for yourself, you will attract people of like minds, like energies, and the ability to love you the way you deserve to be loved!  I am living proof that this IS true!

And just in case you’re really dealing with some horrible creatures, being happy and looking fabulous are always the best … justice!

I tell people what I want them to know.  Period.  The only reason I’m bothering to comment on the scavenging is to eliminate the opportunity for the usual-jealous-ugly-creatures to besmirch the person who is no longer a part of My life – though, the bumpkins will gossip lies anyway because that is all they have.  This behavior is typical of people with a low sense of self-worth with good reason.

My Mother is a lady, as are/were ALL of the Women in My Family on all sides for as many generations as I can count.  I grew up with and continue to be surrounded by a lot of love.  Perhaps, this (also known as “good breeding” and “good home training”) is why I have no sense of jealousy for any other person and the ability to genuinely be happy for and wish other people well.  I do not revel in the pains of others, not even those I intensely dislike due to their offenses against Me.  Such behavior subtracts from your own worth and attracts negativity to you.  I am enough in Myself that I do not need to waste energy “dissing” others when I could put that energy into doing more things to honor and love Myself.

I am disgusted by people who do not love or value themselves.  I call these creatures “gruesomes” because they are not only ugly on the inside, they are inevitably ugly on the outside.  Instead of seeking to improve the conditions of their lives, they seek to belittle everyone and everything in order to feel comfortable in their gruesomeness.  They create communities of others like them to wallow in the muck and mire of the pathetic excuses for lives they choose to create while seeking out those of Us who truly are fabulous to lie, cheat,  and attempt to sling into the feculence of their miserable realities.

A True Lady does not discuss the details of Her love affairs or such matters that are usually put into that category.  If She has cause to mention the departed lover, She refrains from any displays of negativity – especially in public and particularly around gruesomes.

I will NEVER speak ill of anyone I have had any sort of relationship (or attempts at relationships) with because I have too much self-respect to have the need to besmirch another person.  This is evident in the way I have never spoken ill of the silly dummes who have attempted to gain attention for themselves by telling lies on Me – and they’re still telling those same, old, tired, lies that have been exposed!  People with a sense of low-self-worth do not ever realize that a person’s truths are evident based on their merits, which is why like attracts like and the fabulous associate with the fabulous and the gruesomes hang with the gruesomes.  Take a good look around you.

I am evolved enough as a human being to understand that every person is unique to your experience and that when people don’t click, you should move on.  I accept responsibility for My actions, which include choosing to stay in/leave situations with the goal of My happiness.  Because I not only value Myself, I honor My integrity and I choose to remember the positive qualities that I found attractive in people who are now in My Past.  I encourage everyone to do the same to reject negative feelings that do not serve you.  If you love yourself, you do not need to have contempt for anyone you attempted to love.

When all the gossip buzzes around you like flies to manure, take a good look at the perpetrators, and see just how gruesome they are.  There’s value to the adage: Consider the source.  Sometimes, you can judge a book by its cover.

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